You may have had your own favourites at the Britain’s Got Talent final but for me the standout performer was one man.
Ashley Banjo. The dance genius from Diversity, whose incredible routine celebrating the show’s history saw him totally eclipse this year’s winner, conjuror Richard Jones.
Sure, Richard magicking millions of people into voting for him simply by asking a 97-year-old war veteran to join his act was pretty impressive.
But it had nothing on Ashley’s wizardry. He somehow pulled off the feat of saving the show while simultaneously burying it.
His nostalgic interlude act featuring the likes of George Sampson , Diversity, Old Men Grooving and Stavros Flatley was the most exhilarating 10 minutes of live TV this year.
Unfortunately for ITV , it also made a total mockery of Amanda Holden ’s: “In all honesty it’s the best final we’ve ever had”, nonsense.
It was actually BGT’s worst final, which may explain why the ratings have plunged faster than a Moldovan sword swallower on a 12ft pole.
We shouldn’t have been that surprised though. The semi-finals weren’t exactly the stuff of legend.
Simon Cowell should now be alarmed that BGT appears to have slipped into the same routine as The Voice and The X Factor – great auditions, poor middle bit, average final.
That’s for him to sort out next year though.
For this year, I’ll just enter into the 10th anniversary spirit of things and leave you with the big 10 questions arising from 2016’s finals week: When 100 Voices Of Gospel offered Alesha a place in their choir were they just being friendly, or had they heard whispers that she might be in need of another job next year?
If Cowell is such an editorial control freak how did that old footage of him looking like Dale Winton (now) slip in under the radar?
When Cowell told 100 Voices Of Gospel he wanted them standing at the foot of his bed every morning why didn’t he warn them they might have to elbow Sinitta out of the way?
When Amanda told chainsaw loon Alex Magala: “That was the most horrific and scary thing I’ve ever seen on stage”, was she basically recycling one of her own theatre reviews?
When Alesha told The Joy Of Sex ballet dancers Shannon & Peter: “I can’t imagine how your kids were feeling watching that”, was I the only viewer thinking, “Oh, I can imagine exactly how they were feeling”?
How the hell dare David Walliams accuse water chucker Amanda of lacking originality when he’s the one who’s spent the past three years rehashing that tiresome “Ooh, I’m secretly gay and in love with Simon” routine?
Now he’s famous, will Trip the dog have people looking after his interests? In other words, will there be Trip Advisors?
After seeing that even the kid from Stavros Flatley can grow a better beard than he can, will Ant now accept defeat and go back to the clean shaven look?
Is Dec the only 40- something male presenter who could get away with drooling over a young girl band live on TV?
And finally, after Cowell told those cavemen dancers: “We don’t see enough Stone Age people on these shows” do we now have a pretty good idea why he’s bringing Louis Walsh and the Osbourne creature back to The X Factor this year?
PS: Re that trick Richard did tearing a page out of Amanda Holden’s autobiography.
If you’re pondering how many pages he’d have to tear out before you could bear to read it I think I might be able to help. The book has 455 pages.